Surrendering to the Mystery with Eric K. Carr

How a video I "happened" to see on Substack opened my eyes to a whole reality I knew almost nothing about

Photo by Carl Newton on Unsplash

I’ve always loved mystery, and although it wasn’t especially welcome territory in the church I grew up in, I have known God is better than we think. So I’ve dared to ask questions that sometimes make folks uncomfortable, questions that seem, to some, unorthodox and bordering on heresy. But Jesus never squirms when I have a query for Him. Usually, He’s already leading the way into the unknown. I’ve learned to trust the call of the Spirit, and these days I am less afraid to learn about things I’d never known before. Time after time, I find God has a treasure in store when I surrender to the mystery.

That’s exactly what happened last month. When this video came across my feed, something made me click on it. I’m so glad I did. Give it a view, then read on.

Woah.

My friends, I am going to betray my own ignorance here, but until I saw Eric’s brave and vulnerable post, I had NO idea how many individuals in our world were intersex.

I barely knew what that meant, other than the circle in the rainbow flag was put there in 2021 to represent what I thought was a minute group of people. I knew it meant some folks were born with both female and male traits, but I didn’t have any clue what life might be like for them, or how common it is to be intersex.

Let’s do some math for just a minute.

According to the United Nations’ website, 1.7% of people are born intersex. Right now we’re at a little over 8 billion folks alive on the planet, which, if my rudimentary calculations are correct, means we are talking somewhere around 137,054,000 people.

Read that again. That’s more than ONE HUNDRED MILLION people.

One hundred thirty-seven million, to be more precise.

Just so we’re clear about how enormous that number is, Russia currently has a population of around 140 million people.

So, you know . . . if we are talking about an entire country’s population, we are not talking about something small, something minute, something insignificant.

As it turns out, being born intersex is about as common as being born with red hair or green eyes.

Which is why it is absolutely detestable that our government is doing its best to erase and deny the very existence of these living, breathing, loving, hoping, deeply-beloved people.

So. I reached out to Eric, the human being you saw in the bathrobe, and asked if he wanted to chat.

Turns out, he did, and it was, without any sense of hyperbole, one of the best conversations of my life. And that was just the “20 minute strategy” phone call, which turned into more than an hour’s worth of heartfelt laughter and discovery of so much common ground. When we hung up, I had the biggest grin on my face and it felt like my heart had expanded. Eric is one of the most genuine and compassionate people I’ve ever had the pleasure to talk with.

So last week we recorded a podcast which I am so delighted to share here. As you might imagine, our conversation went way beyond gender and sexuality into the vast, untamable territory of God’s mystery, where we both delight to dwell. It was a deeply impactful exchange for me, and while we had a bit of trouble with the tech—you’ll hear a couple of timing issues—it’s a conversation I’ll treasure for years to come.

I hope you will give it a listen and reflect on what struck you, and let me know. Also, reach out to Eric and voice your support for the work he does to raise awareness about folks like him. After all, chances are you know several intersex people, whether they’ve revealed their identity to you or not.

Oh, and great news! The teacher Eric spoke about in the video has been reinstated thanks to Eric’s advocacy! So, there’s a little bright spot amongst some pretty dark headlines.

Click here to listen, or visit my website for the episode and full transcript.